Family Matters

At the Kitchen Table

by Jeanne Hagar

The lesson for today from the “kitchen table” is striving to be unselfish. This is the ability to esteem others better than ourselves. (Philippians 2:3) It is actually the active seeking and thinking of others more than self. It is not lack of self-interest. It is the lack of self-absorption. I Corinthians 13:5 teaches us that “love seeketh not her own”.

One of the greatest lessons we can teach our children is to not become selfish. The world does not revolve around them. Letting them think this way is failing to teach them “in the way they should go” as taught in Proverbs 22:6. But as women and mothers, it will be difficult for us to teach selflessness if we ourselves have not conquered this harmful weakness in our own lives. This lesson was brought home to me early in my son’s life. When Jonathan was five years old and starting pre-kindergarten, he was met with many changes. On the first day home, he was upset because one of boys he was trying to play with was being selfish and wouldn’t share. I saw that he didn’t understand because he had always been taught he must to share. I explained to him, “Jonathan, his mother hasn’t taught him to share yet”. It seemed to satisfy him for the moment but during the next few days he was still experiencing the same problem with this little boy. Finally, Jonathan said, “Mama, I wish his mother would hurry up and teach him to share”. Cute as this may have been, it is sad that many children and even some adults have not learned to be more giving and mindful of others.

The more unselfish we become, the more Godlike we become. The less absorbed we become with self, the more concerned we become with others. We should be looking for opportunities to say a kind word, share an idea, or brighten someone’s day. But it takes a desire to get out of one’s self and share that self with other people. We have been blessed with a very unselfish daughter. Jessica and I were sitting “at the kitchen table” discussing her friends and their actions toward others. She expressed to me that one of the characteristics she looks for in a friend is how they treat other people. Jessica understands she doesn’t have to have her own way or always be right. It is more important to her that people are treated with love. This is an action of someone that is not selfish.

Looking out for others instead of self…Can you be that kind of person? God expects us to strive to be unselfish in all we do and think…to love others more than self.

Editor’s note: Last month we had our first article of “At the Kitchen Table” from Jeanne Hagar. Jeanne is a Christian mother of two college students. She and her husband Gary worship and work in TN. They have been strong supporters of truth for years. We are happy to share another of her articles with you this month. We hope you are encouraged by her simple view of how a common item such as the kitchen table can be an opportunity to help our families grow in the LORD. Thanks! Jeanne for sharing your thoughts with us. We look forward to more in the future!

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